The Whisper

The universe is calling. You are here for a reason. Is this the beginning of your spiritual awakening? Your path toward self acceptance, grace, humility, and freedom from fear. Only you and the universe knows.

December 2023. This was the beginning of my spiritual awakening. I did not know it at the time.

A voice whispered to me and said, “This single moment in time is unlike in other moment in your life.” What a powerful statement for some of us. Those who search deep within ourselves to find our true purpose. The meaning of our existence and place in the universe. In reality most people don’t give it a single thought. Their minds are cluttered with the noise of everyday life. It drowns out the wonder of why? As an HSP, highly sensitive person and empath, I feel the noise. And it is crippling me.

We can all understand the pain associated with getting a bump on the knee. Most toddlers take those bumps with ease. They get up and continue on their way; as if nothing happened. I was not one of those children. When I fell, I stayed on the floor and cried. “Who am I kidding?” Sobbed is more like it. Once scorned, my environment frightened me. That is the metaphor of my life. I am different. I have always been, and will continue to be different. That difference separates me from those I love. And because of that separation they will never know the true me. That realization hurts me deeply.

For those of you who do not know me, moderation is not my strongest attribute. I’m an all or nothing kind of guy. If I eat cake, it will be the whole cake. One piece is never enough. One cigarette lead to millions and a diagnosis of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD.) And when I drank, boy oh boy, did I drink. “Yippie Ki-Yay,” that was my motto. I am extremely grateful to have overcome two of those vices. Just don’t ask me what happened to the box of fudge covered Ritz crackers I was saving for my father.

The voice whispered to me again. I suspect it came from my higher self. “Are you happy with your life?” And I thought, “I don’t have time for this…Get real…I’ve got laundry to do!” Most of the time I can barely come out of the house. Fear of the, “What if’s,” paralyzes me. Happy? Who’s truly happy? I do experience moments of happiness. Maybe that’s all I get and I should count my blessings. However, those moments do not sustain me. They keep me in a perpetual state of yearning.

Today, when I look out from my bedroom window everything is gray. I just want to crawl back into my bed and pull the covers up over my head. I am depressed, stressed and full of anxiety. I am on a downward spiral and my mental health is in rapid decline. I am angry, very angry. Not like, “Mass shooting,” you need to call the police type of angry. It’s more like the spitting hiss that comes from a pissed off tortoiseshell cat. I know it well. That’s my, “Mandy!” We have much in common. We both hiss a lot.

I need help desperately. I can’t keep doing the same thing day after day, and expect my circumstances to change. It’s foolish and counter productive. I’ve wasted so much time and I have been a fool far to long. I am the only constant in the equation. Its time for me to try something drastic and unconventional. What have I got to loose? So, today in this moment, I pledge to myself. I will no longer take a backset to my life. It’s time for me to take charge. I’m calling, “Shot gun!” I know… I know what you are thinking. Trust me, driving is not my forte.

Now that I have made my proclamation to the universe, what do I do? I googled, “Therapy.” I spent days scouring the internet and eventually settled on hypnosis. That doesn’t sound too bad in itself. No judgement from my friends there; at least not to my face. But QHHT, Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique, that is the crème de la crème.

Quantum Hypnosis

What is QHHT? It is a specific hypnotic regression technique developed by, Delores Cannon. A self taught hypnotist, author and pioneer in the New Age movement toward spiritual growth. Her technique is designed to quickly guide one into deep hypnosis enabling one to communicate with the higher self; ones consciousness that knows all from the moment of creation. Thus, uncovering the root cause of negative feelings, thoughts, and physical ailments. I think that is the basic principle. I am by no means an authority on the subject. I am hoping that in understanding the why, I can move forward to a more positive place. Who knows? Maybe it will help with my COPD. Spontaneous remissions of many chronic diseases and terminal ailments have occurred during and after the session.

I can still hear the skepticism in her voice. “Don’t buy the potion,” my dearest friend replied. It was a gentle reminder to a summer, many, many years ago. It is not one of my proudest moments. Do the words: mall, gypsy, bath salts and empty wallet mean anything to you? I’m still shaking my head in disbelief. I guess dignity does have a price and mine cost a hundred dollars. Nothing like watching one’s self-esteem go down the drain while hopping on one foot to put everything back into perspective.

All my apprehension vanished the instant I met, Jules. Her eyes were bright, welcoming, and filled with compassion. Her voice calm, empathetic, and reassuring as she explained the whole process. I instantly knew my deepest secrets would be safe and I understood exposing them was detrimental to my survival. “No pain, no gain,” I said silently to myself. Exposing my life story was a two hour process. I spoke about the recent, fragmented memories, and images that came forward in November. A piece of the puzzle was missing and I struggled to find the meaning. I spoke of the heaviness that came over me in the 3rd grade. One so crushing, all I wanted was to die. It was a difficult, emotional, and extremely painful conversation. If tears were currency, I paid in spades.

Eventually, I laid down on the couch, settled in, and the hypnosis began. I was guided to a safe place and found myself perched on a mountain top. The air was so pure, and crisp I could almost taste it. And I had a sense of being cradled in a gentle breeze, one full of love. When I looked down into the valley I saw a winding river, an array of wildlife, and a forest full of pine and oak trees. It was autumn and the canopy of leaves were in the process of change. The colors more vibrant and more alive than I can possible explain. I felt calm and totally at peace.

Soon, I saw an exotic young woman from the Middle East draped in the finest silk and adorned in the rarest of jewels. She is a concubine living a life of luxury in a golden palace. Her owner now favored another. One younger and more cunning than she. Her jealousy and anger caused her demise. After refusing her masters advances, he grabbed a knife and cut the side of her face. The gash was jagged and deep. I heard her scream out in agony. He destroyed what she valued most; her beauty, her currency. It was more than she could bare. She lost everything and was cast aside. In the end she took her own life by drinking a vial of poison.

Next, I saw a young boy from England or Ireland sometime in the 1600’s. He is barefoot and living in squalor. His mother is ill and slowly dying from tuberculosis. I saw her huddled in the corner of a tiny room, wrapped in a torn blanket, and coughing up blood into an old rag. The air was damp, cold and chilled her to the bone. The boy did his best to make her comfortable. He sold printed news sheets to buy her medicine. He begged and stole from strangers to feed them both. And many days he did without because of his love for his mother. His circumstance was that of misery and heartache. They both died. His mother from the disease and he from starvation.

And then I saw her. A beautiful Native American Indian. I do not know her name, other than it means sky. She has the gift. Mother Earth whispers to her in the wind. She understands the oneness, the connection of all. It is a life full of love, compassion, and inner peace. I see children laughing and playing by the river on a warm spring day. I hear birds singing, and I can sense, feel the vibration, the energy of the Bison as they migrate across the land.

The older women were huddled together watching with a dutiful eye. The others were busy planting crops, making clothes, or preparing the meal. Her husband was a brave warrior and good provider. She was gentle, kind and loving; an excellent mother to her children. I felt her love and my heart began to swell. Eventually, I saw an elderly woman slowly wandering off into the woods. As my thought moved forward, I realized it was her. She chose to die surrounded by nature; to become one with, Gaia. And as she passed, I saw her spirt leave her body. It was a brilliant amber light.

Finally, I was guided to my Higher self. I work in the Hall of Records. A place where every thought, word, emotion and event from our past, present, and future self are contained. I help souls find what they need to further evolve. It fills me with great pleasure. I am content at this level. I relinquish my turn to incarnate on earth many times. To many souls stuck on the wheel of karma. They need the journey more than I. Not enough vessels. I also use the viewing booths. I am given many lives to review by my council. I am being prepared. I must move on. I learn by watching and feeling emotions. It is like watching a play and observing every major and minor characters relationship to one another. Plus, the ripple effect from those actions, and the effect those actions have on the whole.

Most of the information given to me by my, (HS), higher self is extremely personal and meant only for the practitioner, (J), Jules and myself. However, these are a few of the questions and answers I can, and feel compelled to share with you at this time.

(J), “Did you bring him here today? And, why is he here?”

(HS), “Yes, the memory I sent brought him here. To have compassion for those who perpetrated abuse towards him. To understand the pain. He needs to forgive himself to continue his journey.”

(J), “What is his purpose?”

(HS), “There is a sparkle of the Divine. The light within. He needs reminder to open his mind.”

(J), Can you expand on his purpose, to help him more?”

(HS),”Much bigger… Much bigger, bigger than one, more then he can comprehend.”

(J), “Anything else he needs to know that would help him at this time?”

(HS), “Illusion, illusion, illusion.”